frost over everything. a cold wind. a beautiful morning. clear blue sky. hood and jefferson dark in the distance. when the sun finally rose, i got to run straight into it for a few miles. it was amazing. a few times, i had to jump over or run around patches of ice on the sidewalk from night time watering. i had a couple of close calls and slips, but nothing bad.
i felt very weary at the end of this run. i have to order those gels on bloks. must do it tonight. 15 miles is too long to not refuel.
i ran the same course as yesterday but in reverse. it's funny how that completely transforms a route. though it felt the same. it took me until the eighth mile or so to get into a groove and then i had to go to the bathroom. the city is working on an on-ramp for the freeway and have abandoned one area, but left the port-a-potty. it was in the perfect place for me.
i wore my ninja hoodie again, keeping it on my lower jaw. i know that i probably look funny, but i don't care. it is so warm and breathable. besides if i can wear tights, i can wear anything.
really had to motivate myself at two points today. the first was just getting out of bed. so tired, so exhausted. i let all three vibrating alarms go off and then tacked on another 20 minutes or so of just laying in bed. fortunately i didn't fall back asleep.
the second time was right before that 8 mile hump. i just had to focus on my movement. telling, lying to myself, that i can do this, that it didn't hurt, that it was easy, that i can make, that i will make it. i tried every trick in the book and apparently it worked because i didn't stop or slow down.
it is such a mental thing, this running business. but the question is this: if your body wants to stop and your mind is telling you to stop and those two things are working against you, what keeps you going? is it your will? what is it when you even lose your will to run? what keeps those legs moving? it is something beyond that. maybe even outside of myself. many writers and runners have talked about the spiritual side of running. and since i am a christian, i believe that CHRIST infuses everything that i say, think, or do. which includes running.
maybe it is this. the spiritual that keeps us going. in fact, i know that's what it is for me.
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