injury: week 5

sunday, 1.5 miles . . .

monday, 0 miles . . .

tuesday, 8 miles . . .

wednesday, .15 miles . . .

thursday, 0 miles . . .

friday, 0 miles . . .

saturday, 4 miles . . .

. . . so it was supposed to be 8 to 10 miles. i was supposed to work out my talk on this run. the weather was great, a little bit of drizzle, just cold enough, perfectly dressed. and this pain started. the same pain from saturday that caused me to stop and massage it out. but that pain went away and i didn't have any other problems the rest of that day. and now this happens. i started down the street and it became increasingly more and more painful. finally i had to stop and tried working it out, but again the pain returned and increased. i decided to run back home at this point. i spent the rest of the time with my foot in an ice chest filled with cold water and ice. that night i did it again, took some ibuprofen, and massaged it out.

. . . the only thing harder than running is not running. i took the day off. i figure that this is the smart thing to do. although it is a hard decision to make, i have to do this. i have to see running as a long term thing, with my major goal in sight. this shows me that i have grown as a runner. i think two years ago, i would have just sucked it up and worked through it.

it's monday night and my foot feels incredibly better. i will try running tomorrow. not sure how long i'll make it. fearful that the pain will return.

. . . such freedom in running. i just breathed in those first few pain free miles. this is why i run. i can't lose sight of this, the sheer joy. somewhere between mile 2 and 3, the pain started to return. for the next 5 miles the pain would ebb and flow but never so bad as to make me stop. i noticed that turning right hurt more than turning left. running downhill hurt more that uphill. i ended up a second off of my typical training pace. i had time to ice my foot again and massage it a bit. i'll do it again tonight.

reflected a lot about running on this run as i was forever confronted with the question of: do i need to stop this run? running makes me feel something that is hard to describe. maybe because running has become so wrapped up with my identity. it may come across as silly, ridiculous, or at worse pridefully, but in my mind, it is none of these things. i feel like i am in a different plane than before i was a runner. i eat differently, sleep differently, go about my life differently. i am not one of you. and then injury stops all this (or at least threatens to). and my whole world comes crashing down. i start to think thoughts . . . maybe i can eat whatever i want now. maybe i will stay up later. maybe, maybe, maybe. i'm not sure what tomorrow will bring.

. . . i wish for this day that it would say 15 miles instead of .15 miles but i just couldn't do it. too much pain. in retrospect probably shouldn't have run yesterday and maybe i will pay for it. here is the decree that i must make for myself: no running until sunday. even saying that scares me. i hate it. i hate injury. anything that stops me from running is my enemy. but i'm trying to change my perspective. here is my thought, i need to be just as fierce, just as ferocious, just as obsessive about my healing as i am about my training. i need to take rest, ice, compression, elevation seriously. i need to throw down ibuprofen as i throw down miles. the stick is my new friend. icing in the morning, at lunch break, and again at dinner. maybe even some cycling adventures to keep fitness up. do some ab workouts. stay in shape. get loads of sleep. eat less food. stay focused. believe that this is not the end of me. believe that this break is for the best. come back stronger.

. . . decided to be a little bit more proactive in my healing process. i went to the local running store downtown thinking that i would walk out with some compression socks. this was the only thing really missing in the tried and true rice method. i talked with the owner about my problem. that is when she suggested trigger point massage tools. i had read about these, researched them a bit, but discarded the notion because of how expensive they were. i thought the same thing as she went behind the counter to get a trail set to demonstrate. then she gave me a shot. magic. in five minutes my calve felt looser than it had in the previous three days of injury using the stick. i walked out with set. i've been using it twice, sometimes three times a day. things are loosening up. continuing to ice at breakfast, lunch, and after the kids go to sleep.

this whole not running thing is getting me down. i can see the progression in my own mind. on monday, i was full of energy. not running, sleeping more, less energy spent, storing up, bursting in each step. but then this energy soon wore out, had no place to go. now i am just depressed, depressed and angry. wondering when i will be able to run again. if i'll be able to run again. if i'll be at my same level of fitness. doubts about pushing on towards this goal. insecurity. fear. must push on. must not give up.

. . . felt great to run again. i smiled through the first half mile. a big cheesy grin. the kind that you'd be embarrassed wearing. the early light hid it. no one was around anyway. but just like wearing tights, i don't care anymore what i look like when i'm running. i need to remember this sheer joy of running when running gets tough in races and speed work and long runs. i need to remember the privilege and the gift that it is to run. why is this only a reality when it is taken away?

woke up at 6 in the morning. ate, went to the bathroom, and then spent thirty minutes working with my new trigger point massaging tools. working out the rough patches primarily on my left leg. loosening it up.

the first two mile was really slow. creeping up there to 8:00 pace. went to the mulch path around the school. soft surface, close to my house, endless circles. but i didn't care. i was running. then some pain started to enter my ankle. so i walked for a bit. the pain left and started running but now faster. whenever the pain came (primarily downhills) i would walk and then push myself especially on the uphill.

when i came home, i did two cycles of icing my foot and elevating. then after breakfast did some more trigger point (for evermore on this blog, tp).

and now it is the afternoon. the ankle feels great even with some jumping and running in place. things are looking up again. we'll see what next week will hold.

the wood and the clay: week 4

sunday, 8 miles . . .

monday, 15 miles . . .

tuesday, 12 miles . . .

2 mile warm up

40 min. tempo run (5:31)

2.5 mile cool down

wednesday, 15 miles . . .

thursday, 10 miles . . .

friday, 20 miles . . .
2 mile warm up
40 min. @ marathon pace (5:36)
4:45 @ tempo pace (5:20)
20 min. @ marathon pace
4:45 @ tempo pace
10 min. @ marathon pace
3.37 mile cool down

saturday, 10 miles . . .

7 miles easy

6 X strides w/full recovery

. . . the first day at camp, near the base of mt. hood at 1300 feet of elevation. it's beautiful, dark, quiet out here. but it was raining most of the day today. just a light drizzle during my run (some luck carried over from last week). ran around camp for a bit and then hit the gravel road. started out nice, gradual rise and fall. then a sudden steep drop with a dead end at the bottom. spent the rest of the 8 miles on country roads. steep hills, no cars, lots of unleashed dogs. it was nice to sleep in.

. . . this will go down as one of my great runs. i woke up without an alarm near 8:00. took my time eating some oatmeal with blueberries and honey. took more time stretching and loosening up. few clouds, no rain, crisp, a slight breeze. i decided to hit all log roads today at camp since it was going to be my longer run. first two roads were dead ends. then i took the third one. this one went for miles (never found the end of it) with other roads swerving off from it. after a few miles i connected to a nice gravel "main" road and followed it. this was epic. a huge hill to conquer. from the top you could see the world. it gradually sloped down, facing another shorter hill that the road climbed lazily up in a serpentine manner. nice open country with the woods close by. i ended up gaining 1000 feet on this run and yet somehow still managed to average a 6:42 pace (a mere 3 seconds off from my typical training pace). i stopped at mile 5 and a little after mile 10 to eat some blocks. this seemed to sustain. also a bunch of random stops to read signs and just look at GOD'S creation. hips and butt felt a bit tight and by the end i had a small blister on the top of my pinkie toe on my right foot and one on my big toe on my left foot. on some of those steep hills, i felt like crying and even did a few times. but none of this mattered. i wish every run could be like this. but tonight i leave this camp.

. . . with much uncertainty i drove to the track for this long tempo run. yesterday was sheer utter craziness and exhaustion after my camp run. had to pack everything up and i was allotted (rather self allotted) as the master packer. this involved hunching down in the trailer attempting to left and swing heavy musical equipment tetris like so that it would all fit. then a long drive home in portland five o'clock mlk day traffic. this is not good recovery activity. by the time i made it home, my right butt, calves, and hamstrings where rather tight. i tried to work them out as much as i could but during the two mile warm up, i felt exhausted and tight. but beyond the physical misgivings, the all consuming ominous thought 'how am i going to make it through this forty minutes at tempo.'

i decided to push this number forty as far out off my mind as i could and just focus on one lap, hitting my 5:31 and then just holding it. lap by vicious lap. the first mile was fairly inconsistent jumping from as low as 5:18 average to as high as 5:34. but then i hit my sweet spot and somehow i was running quite comfortably at my 5:31. i spent a lot of time just living in that constant pain of a tempo run. letting my mind just rest in that movement, trying to be fully aware of my body the whole time. it was beautifully epic. lap after lap. looking at my garmin. staying consistent. it was only in the final 1.5 miles that i had to really dig in mentally but by then i had the luxury of knowing that i was going to finish this run at my tempo. this seems to always give me an extra push. still not sure where i got the strength to do this.

. . . after two beautiful runs on two beautiful days, i knew something had to give. and since the weather was once again incredible (especially the sunrise, a crimson blood shed over a third of the sky), it was my running that suffered. my right butt has gotten worse. so i found an old bocce ball that i haven't used for years and put it right on the knot in my butt and pushed my whole weight rolling along it. this was excruciating but it didn't work it all the way out. the first 5 miles of this 15 miler was all pain. with every strike of my right foot pain shooting from the fiery knot of death in my butt, down my calf, and around my shin. there was some decent running from 6 to 7 but still a desperate push. by the time i hit the hills from downtown to my house, i was quite exhausted. my form felt deflated, a side ache on my left side added to the misery. it's one of those glad it's over sort of days of constant mental coaching and physical death.

. . . even with all of the stretching, massaging, and bocce ball rolling last night, i still woke up a little bit sore. good news, after four miles i had loosened up considerably and just got in a relaxed stride hovering around the 6:37 average pace. and though i felt clunky, slow, feet pounding down hard, whenever i looked into a store window (which i do often to observe my form), i looked strong. and whenever i looked at my garmin for pace, it was right on. tried to relax and just focus on the ease of this pace. afterwards, my left hip felt a little tight but loosened up after a few yoga poses pre-shower.

. . . long run of freezing wet death. 20 miles, around the track (with the exception of the quarter mile it takes to run to the track). a cold day mixed with rain, fortunately no wind. i felt actually pretty recovered going into this run. the first 40 minutes at marathon pace went really well after the first mile which was spent just trying to hit the right pace. after that it was pretty smooth and relatively pain free, though by the end i was quite tired. mentally asking the question, how am i going to make it through the other half of this workout?

somehow i found the extra kick to hit that (almost) mile at tempo, one second faster actually. the next 20 minutes was very difficult. i took my gel, drank my water, and had to then really focus, especially those last 5 minutes. and now another push, another boost, a hard effort. but only a little less than 5 minutes. this is doable, right? and i made it through on pace. during this tempo effort, two willamette runners came on the track doing some easy pace. then a pickup 1000m. they kicked it fast at the end. it was beautiful to watch them soar around the track. afterwards they went into the locker room where i was changing. one left, me and the other one talked. he asked what i was doing, adding that i looked fast. interesting. because at this point i did not feel fast. i felt like i was just trying with all i was to hold on to a runaway train, feet flopping, legs dragging, fingers clutching but slipping. the last 10 minutes at marathon tempo was death. especially those first 5 minutes. i was 10 seconds off my pace. how was i going to regain that time with only 5 minutes left. but then something happened. i dug in, i pushed, and then i watched in amazement as my average pace crept slowly down, second by gruelling second.

and then it was over and i had hit my tempo right on. i went to the locker room to change out of my soaking shorts (which later i found out had caused some chaffing on my inner thighs, surprisingly this is a first for me). my fingers were frozen, pain shooting through as the warmed up. the cool down was clunky but i was rejoicing in completing another hard workout.

. . . so sore today in that place between heel and calve. stopped after a mile or more, out of breath, struggling to keep my form and pace. stretched out both calves. this helped for awhile until mile 5 came along. felt this intense pain, a ball of death on my left calve. continued to run, thinking that it would loosen up. no luck. visions of hobbling back to my house crowded my worried mind. i stopped at the catholic school and stretched. then sat down on a large rock and massaged the area and stretched again. luckily, this did the trick and i was able to run pain free the rest of the way, even speed up a little. i was limber now, ready physically, but not mentally to hit those strides. these final six bursts of energy to finish of the running week. one by one i knock them down. like i knock down each mile, each week, each day of my training. another week of successful training. after breakfast i spent a lot of time working out my problem calves, massaging them with the stick until i whimpered in pain. still a little sore though.

racing against the rain: week 3

sunday, 0 miles . . .

monday, 16 miles . . .

2 mile warm up

4 mile tempo (5:20)

4 min. easy

3 mile tempo

3 min. easy

2 mile tempo

2 min. easy

1 mile tempo

2.5 mile cool down

tuesday, 10 miles . . .

6 miles easy

8 X strides with full recovery

wednesday, 8 miles . . .

thursday, 13 miles . . .

friday, 18 miles . . .

saturday, 5 miles . . .

2 miles easy

6 X strides with full recovery

. . . i regretted not running on this beautiful morning. though i will say, my muscles needed the rest and it was good to not have to wake up too incredibly early (as i must do if i am to run on a sunday morning). but getting my breakfast and seeing the early morning sky filled with reds and pinks and dark blues and clouds streaked and no wind and no rain, i was so tempted.

. . . this could have been one of the tougher workouts of my ever so short running career. besides being so incredibly long (10 miles of tempo), mentally it was grueling. i did my warm up and was greeted once again by my new friend the blue heron. nearly in the exact place as last friday. again he did not allow me the joy of watching his flight.

next i went to the bathroom and when i came out the track was overtaken by runners. i actually don't mind this. speedwork is so difficult for me and even more so by yourself. and although none of them run with me, i use them for encouragement nonetheless. i imagine that they know what my planned workout is, along with proper paces, and that my watch is forever before their eyes. they are my accountability, they push me along. they guy in lane eight, the old timer cinched in spandex. the newbie in lane one wearing his hooded sweatshirt. the faithful pair in lanes four and five who seem more fitted for lifting, yet have found a certain peace in running. they pushed me through my first four miles. but at the end of those four, i felt so weak, so spent, i had no idea how i would finish this workout, let alone hit the next three at tempo. i tried to just focus on those four minutes of easy pace, not on what was to come. i tried to relax my breathing, to live in those four minutes. to stretch those four minutes. to allow them to spread throughout my whole being, slowing my heart, giving me strength.

and then i was off again. three miles at tempo. and somehow, i found strength, reserve that i didn't know was even there. my mind was allowed to float free for the first mile without really focusing while at the same time hitting my tempo. mile two was difficult. i tried focusing. my mental image of the child. running for running's sake. for pure joy. running free. with that mile over and only one more to go, i felt better even though it was still a push. and now only three minutes of rest. it's just not long enough. i tried some of the same tricks. i tried to convince myself of my own strength, of my will, of my ability. that i am fast, fast enough. that it was only ten minutes. and what is ten minutes anyway?

and then i was off again. two miles at tempo. already feel weak, but able to push through the first half mile and a bit of the rest of that mile. but then things fall apart. every muscle is strained, i'm tensing while trying to relax while trying to push. things continue to go down hill. but then it is over. two minutes of rest. two minutes is nothing. i have been defeated but i will not bow down. not with only one mile to go. i will finish this workout or die trying. this may be the slowest tempo in history, but i'm going to do it. and i did and it was.

. . . a laughably clunky beginning to this run. will it be this painful for the next hour? i made the mistake of running all of my tempo work without switching directions on the track. my right butt has paid for this oversight. fortunately i did some yoga last night and just after i made it off of my street the pain ceased. it has warmed up considerably today. after the six miles at easy, i stop by my house and shed one pair of gloves and my long sleeve shirt, shoving them in my mail box, keeping my hat company which i left at the beginning of my run. so tempting to just walk into my house without doing these strides. got to keep going. don't even think about doing that. first stride feels a little clunky and slow. but as they progress, i'm getting faster and faster. i'm able to actually focus on relaxing, lengthening my stride, and a quick turnover. even the recovery at easy pace between each one becomes progressively easier. i'm consistently eight seconds faster than this pace even though i feel like i'm running slow. this shows me that my body is adapting to this training regimen. i remember just two weeks ago having to struggle to keep my easy pace between these strides. about an hour after my run, the rains came pummeling down. i love when i miss the rain.

. . . a powerful harsh wind. so fierce all the power in my neighborhood has gone out including the traffic lights, which made for an interesting drive downtown. the wind was like a river current for the first few miles of my run, pushing me along it's course. before i turned into it, i was seven seconds faster than my easy pace. but now it is in my face. at times this running feels anaerobic and i have to push into or fear for going backwards. shorter run than expected, my alarm didn't wake up.

. . . the wind and rains have both died down. the sky was amazing, clouds streaking, the mountains peaking out, the sun bringing soft pinks, just the thinnest of layers. i felt powerful during most of this run. really on top of this easy pace. felt like i could have gone all day. until i hit those last two miles. i wonder if it is a nutrition thing, if i need to start taking in some calories during runs that are longer than ten miles. whatever the case, things just came a lot harder. but i kept my pace. i really didn't want to do this run. i got out of bed a little after 6:30 and pictured myself just going back to sleep. so much of me wanted to. on this side of the run, i'm glad that i didn't.

. . . and again i miss the rains, this time by mere minutes, mere minutes i tell you. just as i'm walking to my front door, the heavens break loose. mass flooding the rest of the day, cars and trucks pushing hard through large puddles on the side of the road, spraying water, cascading over the side walk, the very same sidewalk i was running on this morning. my timing has been perfect this week. though tomorrow looks less than hopeful.

stage one of this 18 miler was one of mass overheating. i mistook the temperature quite largely. fortunately five miles into the run, i was by the church and dropped off my under shirt and thicker gloves in my office. this actually turned out great because i could drink water from our cooler, cold and refreshing. i also had to visit the port-a-potty a half mile from the church.

stage two was the greatest part of the run. from mile five to the willamette track at mile eleven, i felt great. perfect body temp. now, my right hamstring which was a little tight (not hurt mind you) had loosened up considerably, my stride felt long, i was cruising easily.

stage three was the most boring. for some reason i decided to do two miles around the track. even now i don't know why. it seems like i had a few reasons, next to a bathroom and water fountain (which i used both), some good flat before the hills back, didn't feel like hitting downtown traffic, etc, whatever.

stage four was difficult but triumphant. four hills. the first on a mulch path. the second a long but relatively gentle grade. the third shorter but steeper. the last even shorter and much steeper. surprisingly, i kept my pace without much of a push. i think back to this same route (only without the track work making it 15 miles) and how hard it was at this pace two weeks ago. this is encouraging.

stage five, the final three miles was sheer death and misery. i was cruising downhill thinking myself home free when a vicious side ache similar to the one from last week hit me. this small ball of fiery pain in my lower right lung, making it difficult to breath and even stand up straight. i considered stopping, lifting my hands over my head, and deep breath the thing out. but then i had this thought . . . what if this happened in my marathon? what would you do? would you really just stop to work it out? my will answered back with a resounding NO!! never. this is my commitment, to never stop and walk during a race, not even last august when i had broke my foot on a 5k. you've got to figure this out. you've got to keep your pace and attempt to breath it out or else just suffer through it. but do not slow down, do not stop. i wish i could say that in the face of this resolve the side ache quivered back into it's lair from which it came, but that was not the case. it stuck with me until the 18 miles was complete.

. . . and now today i leave for camp, but before i go, i must finish these final 5 miles. alarm failed to wake me up again, fortunately had enough buffer time to still get in this run and make it to the church ten minutes before everyone else. i hate telling everyone as the leader to be there at a certain time and then arrive late. i felt really slow for the meager 2 mile warm up, right leg still sore in the butt and hamstring. loosened up in time for the strides. however those felt exceptionally slow. not a great way to end a week of training but at least i got in all my miles during a crazy week (more of this sort of craziness will follow) and i beat out the rain once again.

to fail is to succeed: week 2

sunday, 5 miles . . .

monday, 13 miles . . .

2 mile easy

5 X 1000m @ 3:03 with 4 min. recovery

6 X 400m @ :67 with full recovery

tuesday, 10 miles . . .

6 miles easy

8 X strides

wednesday, 13 miles . . .

thursday, 10 miles . . .

friday, 20 miles . . .

2 miles easy

3 miles tempo (5:20 pace)

10 miles easy

3 miles tempo

2 miles easy

saturday, 9 miles . . .

6 miles easy

6 X strides

. . . and what happened on sunday? even now, i cannot say for sure. i changed nothing in my diet, sleep, stretching, or anything. it must just be the wear from the first week, the wear from the change. i thought that i would go out for an easy 5 mile run before church. this would not be so. i considered stopping at 3. just trying to stay at my easy pace was difficult. everything was clunky, painful, hard. so glad when this run was over. saturday was so easy. more than the pain, i hate how these little dips in training fill me with such negative thoughts and doubts about what i am attempting to do here. trying to overcome this mental battle is an ongoing challenge that i never thought would play such a crucial role in this effort. yet here it is hovering. fortunately, later in the week, a friend of mine drove by me giving me a fist of glory. later she said i was going fast. this is what i must cling to. a simple mantra. i am fast.

. . . and then monday happens. and i am not yet fast or not fast enough. on the first 1000m repeat i was off by a second. and the results only got worse, cascading down to the pitiful, not even a whisper of my goal. i post them here so as not to hide from my defeat, but rather, like my pain, i will embrace it ever so closely that it may push me.

1000m:

1--3:04:07

2--3:04:10

3--3:05:50

4--3:08:33

5--3:12:75

800m:

1--70:10

2--70:82

3--71:15

4--71:08

5--71:90

6--72:02

but there is hope in the midst of this, this success in the failure is that i can post these results. here stands ALL 5 1000m repeats and ALL 6 800m repeats. no it was not pretty, but it was done. this is my success, that i kept going. this is what marathon is all about. the will to finish, to keep going, to never give up, as you sense yourself getting ever slower, as your goal is slipping away, your splits ever skewed, your goals changing mid stride, you do not stop. i considered it. after a few of those that thought entered my head, 'just quit now, what's the point.' i will no longer listen to that voice.

. . . and tuesday, i am still off my game. running is not fun. struggling for motivation, struggling to keep going, struggling through those 8 repeats, which felt like a miniature version of yesterday.

. . . and then there was wednesday, blessed wednesday, the turning point in my week. everything snaps into place. things are easy again. effortless. the joy of running returns. thursday is similar. looking forward to the long run on friday. ready to face the challenge of the tempo.

. . . at the track for the two miles of warm up. it is still dark. no one else is about. i look into the adjacent baseball field. what looks like a large sprinkler stands in the middle. i round the track and look again. not so sure it is a sprinkler any longer. i round the track again, looking for it. beautiful. i giant blue heron, standing majestically. it's getting lighter. i look forward to seeing it in full light. perhaps spreading it's wings in flight. no such luck, it is gone.

the warm up is done. i shed my jacket. 3 miles at 5:20. i never thought i would say this, but it was easy. i warmed up, had to focus slightly, but other than that, it was so fluid, so epic. i feel confident. change shoes, rehydrate, take some blocks, and hit the streets for 10 miles at easy.

this is when things start to become a challenge. must be some sort of delayed reaction to my tempo run. not quite sure how tempo run part two is going to work out. i hit up minto brown. signs of high water are everywhere. flooding has taken over. the river is engorged, tearing everything along with it, large piles of wood and earth. and then we meet again. the blue heron, staring me down and then flying off. i need to turn around, too much water. this quick, yet slow turn, drops my average by a second. i am over my training pace. i try to kick it up but there is nothing.

i am back at the track. the coat is shed once more. 3 more miles at 5:20. the first one is terribly inconsistent. i can't find my rhythm. the middle one is all focus. trying to stick with it while fighting my body which is so desparetly wanting to stop. yet somehow i keep driving around that track. the last is all effort, all heart, all guts, nothing left. and then it is over. i am in my cool down. and it is easy again. the last half mile a penetrating ache in my right lower lung. hard to stay up straight, but still i smile. it's over. and i succeeded. i can do this.

. . . it's saturday morning. this week is over. the last 9 miles. the last 6 strides. takes a while to shake off yesterday's effort, but it comes back. strides feel good, better than earlier in the week. i think i'll take tomorrow off.

change: week 1

sunday, 0 miles . . .

monday, 12 miles . . .

2 miles easy

40 minutes at tempo (5:31)

2.75 miles easy

tuesday, 11 miles . . .

7 miles easy

8 X strides with full recovery

wednesday, 15 miles . . .

thursday, 11 miles . . .

friday, 18 miles . . .

2.35 miles easy

30 minutes at marathon (5:36)

4:45 minutes at tempo (5:20--actual 5:17)

25 minutes at marathon

4:45 minutes at tempo--actual 5:16

4:45 minutes at marathon--actual 5:34

3.17 miles easy

saturday, 11 miles . . .

8 miles easy

6 X strides with full recovery

. . . felt great to not run for a day. after four weeks of running big miles, no breaks, and a constant pace of 6:44 (with the exception of a few strides), i am now turning a corner. first i have bumped up a level fitness wise. my new 'easy' pace has lowered to 6:39. this sounds less than easy and especially on wednesday's run, this was the case. second, i have exited the base training and entered marathon specific training. this means more speed and a slight dip in overall miles, at least for this first few weeks.

. . . monday's run almost didn't happen. the ground was icy when i first woke up fortunately, my wife slept in a little longer than normal, so my run started later. which was fine because i am on winter break. an entire week off from work and we aren't traveling anywhere. a wondrous 'stay-cation' as a friend of mine called it. this pace for this length felt good. the first ten minutes went by without much thought or effort. i had to start working it out mentally after that but i didn't have to push all that hard at the end. this gives me much comfort and confidence. the rest of the day was spent in a luscious runner's high. loads of energy, feeling good.

. . . as i said, wednesday was tough, really tough. especially coming up those hills from downtown on the final miles. constant pushing, heavy breathing, muscles aching, the death of 6:39. i did keep my pace, which is the good news, but i'm beginning to doubt my fitness and speed. wondering if i have set my sights too high (or in this case too fast). and on a completely different note, my daughter got a fish with her christmas money. while attempting to fill the tank with the tiny rocks, she dropped them all over the floor. naturally we didn't get all of them. evidence: one such rock rolling around in my sock, first noticed at mile 8. ever so annoying.

. . . friday was beautiful but difficult. it started out so warm. no wind, no rain. i had overdressed, but it was too late to go back. i didn't even have a t-shirt. i was planning to use my long sleeve shirt that zips half way down with no shirt on underneath it, since it had been so cold as of late. during the warm up, i was shedding fast. then the real work out began. along with the pouring, large drops of rain, and an intense head wind for half of the track. that first 30 minutes at marathon pace was a constant struggle, a constant focus. i was wondering how i would find the push to hit the tempo pace. but then it came, i surged, and quite surprising myself, i hit it. it actually seemed easier that the marathon pace. i had to hold myself back at times. strange. and then the ultimate mental low after this. i had only done half of my workout. where did i find the strength to hit that 25 minutes at marathon pace? i have no idea. but it came. i kept going. kept running. and again the tempo was easier. that last 4:45 at marathon was quite difficult but then it was over. i was sore, hurting, tired, cold, drenched in sweat and rain and snot and tears, but feeling triumphant. it wasn't until later that day when i realized that i had actually done . . . nearly a half marathon where my slowest pace was a 5:36 with two surges at 5:16/5:17. this, for me, is a huge leap. my current half pr is a 5:56 pace. granted today was on a track, but had it been a race, i believe i could have even pushed faster.