and so it begins (again)

sunday, 10.75 miles . . .

today it begins. the new training program with four weeks of base building. welcome my old friends. ice baths. long runs. marathon pace. three gels. something always sore.

and then there is the big one. no sugar. the rule is if sugar (dextrose, high fructose corn syrup, brown sugar, etc.) is in the first three ingredients, then i don't eat it. with the exception of chocolate milk as a recovery drink and syrup with my pancakes at the otis cafe. this rule is held in effect until after the eugene marathon, the first week in may.

the discovery from saturday of massaging out that left inner thigh has truly saved me. i felt strong this morning. my legs free, nimble, relatively pain free. fog was starting to set in but i was about 30 minutes too early. while driving to church, it completely surrounded me. i would have loved to run in that.

i feel like i could have ran more, but time was against me.

i used my ninja hoodie for the first time and lifted it up over my lower jaw. it was amazing. warm, yet breathable, the ears and neck completely covered, with the constant option of either covering the lips and nose or dropping it off the jaw.

also used a watch my wife bought me that has a vibrating alarm so i don't wake up her or the baby for my runs. worked great.

monday, 14.25 miles . . .

a cool, misty, high fog, slight drizzle day. the new watch failed to wake me up this morning. finally opened my eyes on my own an hour late. i probably needed this sleep.

this was a strange phenomenon. the pace felt like a push that was harder than normal. my breathing, my muscles, everything seemed to be staining just a bit more than i like on an easy run. but then at mile 8, something switched. something changed. it was instantly easy and effortless. i was going to only do 13 because of the watch debacle, but i was feeling too good and the weather was too nice. these are the moments that you just have to grab at as a runner. put in more miles when you are feeling great so that you may put in less when you aren't.

there were quite a few runners out. people i had never seen on the streets before. this is a strange season to pick up this sport.

the motivating thought of the day. the only difference between 'i'm doing it' and 'i did it' is time. the idea here is that nothing will stop me. these four weeks of base training is already done in my mind, time just has to catch up with it. i've already qualified for the olympic trials, time just has to catch up with it. so i will be patient and know that i'm already there.

the things we try

left thigh continued to cause pain throughout the morning especially when standing up.

i tried to stretch it out, trying various stances. the traditional splits, a deep lunge, a deep lunge with my left foot raised, a strange contortion involving a slanted lunge, twisted hip, and one arm up in the air. none of these seemed to quite get the spot.

i tried the stick. i threw my leg up on a stool and rolled it out. but i couldn't get high enough on the thigh. next i tried sitting on the ground and driving the handle into the spot. this seemed to help a bit but i still couldn't get deep enough. next i tried laying on my bed sideways, straddling the stick and using my body weight. this got me closer.

and then suddenly through all of these attempts, it came to me. i put one end of the stick on the piano bench and the other on the bed frame. i got on my side and laid down. i set my left thigh on the stick and rolled my body across it.

this was the pain i was looking for. the runner is so tuned into his body, he knows the difference between a good pain and a bad pain. there is a pain that brings healing in the hurt. it is deep, brings tears to the eyes, makes you all hot and sweaty, but in the end you know it is good. so you count to ten, as slow as you can muster and you push through it. like a track workout, like an ice bath, like passing on the homemade apple pie. you push because you know that this will bring you one step close to your goal.

so i lift up my ceramic mug half filled with lukewarm french press coffee that i made over two hours ago and have already microwaved once and toast to the good pain that brings me the confidence for tomorrow.

lessons from my left thigh

6 miles . . .

left inner thigh is really tight. i worked it out quite a bit before and after the run, but still the pain is persisting. when i turn my leg in just the right (or wrong) way it is a sharp, piercing type of sensation. i've got to start focusing on this area before it actually affects my running like last marathon training. it got so bad that the first couple miles was all pain causing a shorter stride. the plan? stretching, rolling, and i need to do some strength exercises. i'm thinking of some plyometrics?

needles to say, this doesn't instill within me great confidence as i enter into these four weeks of base training. i had this concept that i would be going into it strong, rested, recovered, and above all mentally ready to tackle this 20+ week training cycle (which will be the most intense of my short marathon career). instead, i struggled through this meager six mile run like it was a tempo run. and this after a week off and low mileage.

i guess the best i can hope for now is to put this run behind me and start focusing on what i need to focus on.

four weeks.

big miles.

6:44 pace.

exceptionally unexceptional

13 miles . . .

a run without anything exceptional happening. which in and of itself is exceptional because it has been one week and one day since the s.n.s. surgery. so to have nothing truly tragic or monumental happen on a 13 mile run where i hit an average of 6:42 is wondrous. it's funny how those little doubts began to hit you in times of rest but it feels like i didn't lose any of my fitness. not to say that this was an easy run. rather it was a constant see saw between ease and minor discomfort. much of the way it felt a week ago.

some of my minor aches which were gone yesterday started creeping back in slowly throughout this run. particularly my left inner thigh and the bottom of my right foot. but only slightly.

i started late enough to miss all of the morning rain and actually near the end the sun broke through the thin layer of grey.

on the very last mile, i saw someone i went to college with and see at the coffee shop from time to time because he started dating one of the barristas. this is the third time i've seen him running in the past week. he use to be a soccer player but now has moved to the only true sport left.

one more day left and then the base building begins for the eugene marathon.

one hundred percent

9 miles . . .

today i am back and better than ever. i feel my strength, speed, and endurance completely back but with even something more. it's like these six days rest was a pushing of a reset button on all of my minor aches and tightness that never quite escalates to an injury so you just run through it. you stretch, roll, ice as much as you can but still they slowly persist. on this run, they were all gone. i ran completely pain free and hit my 6:44 pace early on and never went over it.

a slight misty mixed rain slowly descended unending upon me throughout the entire run, like running through a thick wet fog. grey skies overtook the sun just before i started. i caught a slim glimpse of it standing on my deck judging the temperature. its edges were softened by the cloud covered sky. it was incredible. i was hoping it would stick around for a bit during my run. no such luck.

already my wife has made these amazing cinnamon roll type creations of moist dough, sugar, and butter. my goal is to eat no sweets for the day.

let's see what happens.

working out the bugs

4.4 miles . . .

woke up a little tender but not swollen in 'the area.' took some ibuprofen, slid into my tights, and hit the streets. today was that beautiful day that i dream of. crisp, foggy, blue sky. mmmmm.

the first mile felt really awkward and rusty. but i wasn't worried about my pace. hung around 7:10's or so. and i just ran. freedom. peace. all of those worries from a few days ago about losing my love for my mistress vanished on this run.

and then something strange . . .

every block or so, my pace kept creeping faster and faster without my really trying. things loosened up. i fell into my old pace from two weeks ago and hung there easily. 6:49. and then it began to creep lower. in the final half mile, i was at 6:46 a mere 2 seconds from my pace before the surgery.

so i pushed a little. and right before the 4.4 my watch read 6:44. excellent.

zero to sixty in 1.1

2.2 miles . . .

what a way to come back into running after all these sedentary days. i'm sure this goes against all conventional wisdom, but i just couldn't help myself. i got an email inviting me to the nike campus to test out the 2010 lunar racers that they are in the process of developing. i was a little unsure if i would be able to do it, since i started getting a little swollen from the surgery on one side. but i started taking ibuprofen, icing with frozen sweet peas, and wearing boxers. so by today, i was pretty much back to normal.

there were four of us at the test. there were two different pairs that we had to try, looking for similarities and differences. it was a .33 mile lap that we would run three times in each pair. the first would be at a typical training pace. the second at tempo. the third at 5k race pace. something about when the word race hits my ears. it became a race. not a test. not a first day back. a race. between me and three other guys on the nike campus.

fortunately, nothing ended up hurting and i think it ended up loosening things more than anything else. the first pair i tried on were 10x better than the current model of lunar racers. they had a better fit, especially in the uppers and at the achilles tendon, where i typically get a little blister in the old model. they handled great around the many turns this loop had. and they were super fast and responsive.

then i laced up the second pair. noticed an instant difference. softer and more flexible sole instead of the rigidity typical in the racer. reminded me more of the lunar trainer. if the first shoe was a 9, this was a 10. this shoe was amazing. hopefully i'll be able to do a longer term trial with these because that 1.1 mile loop was just too short.

i also got a ten dollar gift certificate, a pair of lunar trainers, and another trip to the nike employee store.

all in all, a great day back to running.

you've been gone for awhile but i don't miss you

0 miles . . .

today marks the fifth day that i haven't run in a row. what scares me is not my fitness level, strength, or anything like that. it's the fact that i haven't missed running at all and the fear that what if i never do. what if, when i start up again, i don't enjoy it? what if i've lost my passion?

this morning is beautiful. rigid and cold but brights, everything glistening. in my mind, the perfect day for a morning run. this thought came to me, but without any yearning. i thought that these five days would be a hard thing for me to do, that i would be trying to sneak in a run while no one was looking. but that has not been the case.

we shall see what happens tomorrow. for whether i want to or not, i will run.

i am so fickle in my feelings towards my mistress known as running.

what you do when all signs point against running

0 miles . . .

yesterday was supposed to be a longer run somewhere around 15 miles. yesterday was also supposed to be my last run before the s.n.s surgery in the afternoon. so i woke up, got out of bed, ate, went to the bathroom, and even got all dressed up in my beloved tights, bright orange top, and shoes. i believe that my hat was even on too. that is when i realized that i had forgotten to charge my garmin from yesterday. no problem, i would just run without. then i noticed the light on in my kids' room. they were already up and playing on the floor, though they hadn't opened up the door yet, which my daughter does about one billion times every morning slamming the door, much too my wife's dismay. then i thought about the run. i felt tired in my legs. tired in general. and then i had this thought, today could be the last day in the next four months that i could actually willfully skip a run. and all the signs seemed to be pointing to it.

so i took off all my running stuff, went into the kids' room and we watched t.v. this is when the final sign was revealed to me that i should not have run that morning. we watched sid the science kid on o.p.b. he was getting a flu vaccination and was talking about all the science behind why we need them. this was the perfect episode for my daughter who was getting one today and was vehemently against it. they sang a song about it and kept repeating this little adage "it hurts for a little, but helps a lot." however, none of this really changed the fact that when she actually got the shot she held the door shut, kicked her legs, flailed her arms, and screamed a deathly scream that embarrassed my wife and confounded the friend that went with her to help. on a positive note, she said that if anyone ever tries to snatch my daughter, she won't go quietly. but in retrospect, i wonder if the show did help. maybe this was her tamed down version.

so now i've been in bed for nearly twenty-four hours, mainly keeping up on this blog and watching studio 60 on the sunset strip on hulu. i haven't gotten restless yet from this sedentary life. and the extra sleep has helped out a bunch. though when the itch to go out for a run overpowers me, i shall be miserable.

for now i will enjoy the life of a non-runner. though i am wearing my tights for support.

stretch, roll, recover, repeat

10 miles . . .

the wind has died down, the rain is taking a short break, the sky is clear, the sun is large and bright, there is a chill in the air. these could perhaps be my favorite days to run. they are just beautiful.

when thinking about what route to do this morning, for some reason i thought of the trail. the trail that i haven't been on since they started advertising a cougar on it. the sign is gone now. this route is amazing. down the trail. out on a country road. through a running park paradise. a gravel path rarely traveled next to a wide river. back up through commercial st. is really the only annoying part, but there is no way around it.

i struggled today to stay on my 6:44 pace. one idea is that since this route is so out of the way, it could not get as good gps reception. or it could be my motivation. or it could be that i haven't been staying up on my yoga, stretching, and rolling out of my problem areas. two places of particular note: left hip flexor and left inner thigh.

this will be one of my goals for the break. stretching, rolling, recovery.

the burger king blues

13.1 miles . . .

i think everything, all of my training, the baby, lack of sleep, the weather, all of it is combining together, all twelve weeks of it, since i started training with mr. daniels' is just stripping away my motivation to run, to put in the miles. when i woke up this morning, i did not want to get out of bed. i just wanted to sleep, to rest, to not run, not even one mile. just sit and read or watch tv or mess around on the computer or go to hulu and watch studio 60 on the sunset strip or do nothing. absolutely nothing. with no kids and nothing to do. but i figured since i was already up, i should just run. but there was no drive, no joy. just the drudgery of another nearly hour and a half run in crumby oregon weather.

the run itself was not difficult. i hit my times easily. even the hills and the wind and the cold and the rain was of little consequence. it's as though my mental strength has been pushed and stretched and beaten up and pounded and it just needs a vacation. but for now i will keep pushing. two more days. two more days of running. and then the s.n.s. i am strangely looking forward to this pseudo-vacation from not only running but from all that goes into it. i will sleep in. i will sit around. i will watch tv and movies and read and do nothing else. dr's orders, i embrace you.

major bowel problems today. (stop reading now if you don't want to know). as is my custom, i sat on the toilet, pre-run, in hopes to "get it all out." i was there for longer than normal, yet at the same time i just knew there was more. but i had already wasted too much time. so i stood up, flushed, and bid a hearty farewell to the house.

half way through, as i knew would happen, the urge for a bathroom came strong upon me. i crossed the street and headed to a coffee shop i frequent, begging that i may use the facilities. but then, just as quickly as it came, it left. so i, foolishly, kept running, crossing the street. as soon as i hit an uphill stretch, it came back, with a vengeance and i still had three miles to my house. there was no way that i could make it.

and then my salvation, a burger king. running across the busy street again, i ran toward the entrance, sneaking in, past the employees, straight to the bathroom, and out again, without anyone being the wiser.

now i feel better. the rain is falling now. cold hard rain. there is two miles of peace. the running is easy. there are no worries. and then the feeling comes back. arrrggghhh!!! for the next mile and a half, i am forced to stop three or four times to hold it all in. annoying.

wall of wind

15.6 miles . . .

downhill from my house with a crazy tailwind behind pushing me further and further down into insanely fast times. but it wasn't a cold wind and there was no rain to go with it, so at least i wasn't miserable. a beautiful run around the park, over the river. but then i started getting nervous. my average kept creeping closer and closer second by second to 6:44 and i hadn't even started back uphill or into the wind. this was going to be interesting.

i finally turned the corner and it was like running into a wall of wind. it became anaerobic. it was a battle, a fight, a push. at times it would calm slightly but just as i hit the biggest, longest, steepest hill of the lot a huge gust fell upon me and i had the sensation that although my body was moving i wasn't going anywhere. like being on a treadmill. this passed after a few seconds but didn't die down completely. i ended up hitting an average of 6:42, which really shocked me when it was all said and done.

i might just be ready for this.

the new level

6 miles . . .

today starts the new level of fitness from mr. daniels. every pace is faster now. the new target for easy running is 6:44, which now that i type it, seems fast and far removed from the category of easy. however, this morning i had little trouble hitting this time. but this is just week one.

also today is the official start for my marathon training. although it is just base building and due to the imminent s.n.s. surgery coming later this week along with mandatory bed rest, these first two weeks are really more of a rest time. this doesn't worry me because i have pushed so hard these past twelve weeks and i've been treating it like base building. i will still have four solid weeks of just easy running and i'll be ready.

dearest tights,

why has no one spoken of your wonder to me before? we have only spent these two hours together and yet i feel like we know each other so well. it is like the beginning of a friendship. everything is fresh, everything is new. the hope of our imminent closeness excites me, bringing me to tears. everything about you is amazing. so amazing in fact, that i don't even care who sees me with you. in fact, it's the opposite. i want the whole world to know that we know each other.

you make me feel sleek, skinny, and fast. my legs seem to stride freer, easier, quicker. and so smooth, oh so smooth. all is hugged close, pressed together, compressed into a streamlined aerodynamic insanity. you support, i.t. band and quads and hamstrings and shins and calves.

not that you are some magical mystique that causes all pains disappear. yes it was a tough run at times as all long runs are. yes i felt some minor tightness at times in my left hip flexor because i forgot to work on it last night. you just make it all more pleasant. like sharing a trail with a close friend.

you are so transparent. i can feel the wind, each particle rushing at me. i can feel. as clothing should be, making me connect with my surroundings instead of breaking me off from them. yet at the same time your provide warmth and security. and your wicking power is amazing. when finally we had to depart, you left me dry. where did all that sweat go from such a long run? you will not divulge your secret.

no other pant will compare with you. i have found the pinnacle. and, yes, maybe i look funny. maybe people will stare at me. maybe i have gone too far. but in so doing i have found something amazing.

and there is no going back. i look forward to the next time we unite. in the meantime, rest yourself. there are many miles in your future.

forever and always yours,

rocky

ps 19.44 miles . . .

numb

12.18 miles . . .

20 minute warm up
6 X 1000m at 3:24 with 1 minute recovery

6 X strides with full recovery

??? mile cool down

i can't recall in recent memory a more miserable run than this morning. the evil triumvirate of oregon weather pounding upon me: cold, wind, rain. any one of these on their own is of little consequence, though a bit annoying, especially when attempting tempo work. a combination platter is slightly worse depending on what the combo is. but all three as sometimes experienced here is terrible, miserable, and the road to hypothermia.

during the warm up, i never quite felt warmed up. i should have known better the moment i walked out my front door than to be wearing shorts. but this has become a bit of a tradition for me on my track workouts. in retrospect, i clean dry pair of pants for the warm up and cool down could have made a huge a difference.

at the track, my workout was momentarily paused as i debated over what to wear for my tempo workout. hat, gloves, arm warmers were the no brainers. but what of the thicker long sleeve adidas jacket? after much thought i took this off and started my workout thinking that the minute recover between each effort would not be ample time to lower my body temperature. i was only mostly right. as the cold, wind, and rain persisted, and at times became harsher, i felt a steady numbness starting in the fingers and crawling up the arm. by the last tempo, i could barely push the button on my watch to record the times, the end of my fingers being the numbest of all.

i decided it wise to put the jacket back on for the strides, since i was doing a full recovery between each. and though this was the right call, i believe that the damage had already been done. the only thing keeping me alive at this point was those quick bursts of speed ever three minutes or so.

but when that was over and the cool down began, i cascaded into ever descending circles of misery. typically i will switch back into my trail shoes for the cool down but i though that i just had to keep running. it was the only thing from pushing me over the edge of some real damage. so i just circled around the track. my easy pace is 6:49. this is the pace i would usually do my cool down. i kept looking at my watch and it read 6:33 for the whole cool down. i couldn't will myself to go slower knowing that it would only make me colder.

finally back at my car, i struggled with my key, dropping it once. i noticed that my motor skills were slightly off and shaky, and i couldn't get warm fast enough.

this is my last speed workout for six weeks. what a one to go out on. but if i can hit all my times and push through this workout on a day like this, i'm ready for this intense marathon training plan. there were so many times that i wanted to quit by blaming it on the weather and not my own strength. it's funny all the things that go through our minds as runners. all the negative thoughts, reasons to stop, to cut our workouts short or not as intense or whatever.

finishing strong today has shown that mentally i am ready.

employee store

10.1 miles . . .

nothing much of consequence happened on this run. only thing to really note was the wind. surging me forward, down rolling hills for the first part of the run. averaging nine seconds quicker than easy pace with no effort. as i turned on my loop, all was made equal.

the real important stuff happened after the run . . .

drove up to portland with the family this morning for a host of random adventures. among them was the long delayed trip to the nike employee store. i kept forgetting to call jonathon so he could get me in. so i did on the way up there fearing that it might be too late. he totally came through. he's going through a tough time right now. he broke his foot this summer on a 5k (the very same series that i broke mine on two years previous). only he is having major complications and surgeries. with despair, he relayed to me his doctor's guess about not being able to run again until the spring. he was really pushing hard before this injury. increasing speed and distance. and now he has to start back all over. my heart and prayers go out to him.

he also told me that he is starting another test soon for the new lunar racers and he'll send me an invite when they are ready. this is great news. i have three pairs of racers now from previous tests and ran in a new pair for the seattle rock n roll marathon. i'm excited to see what the changes are and to be one of the first to run in them.

the nike employee store was a gold mine today. i only spent $149.00 (as i told this to my wife she rolled her eyes and emphasized my word choice of only). but for that i got two pairs of socks, a ninja like hoodie that is part hat-part scarf and all ninja, two long sleeve half zip up tops, and two pants--one a traditional style, the other a tight style. i'm excited to try out this new stuff, but i'll have to wait until saturday as tomorrow is a track work out, which i was supposed to do today. but there was too much to do today.

running away

15.25 miles . . .

though i'm not sure about the pace. it felt a lot like other easy runs that i've done. i think that i left my garmin on yesterday after i recorded my track times. for when i turned it on this morning it instantly beeped the low battery warning. it lasted for approximately 3/4 a mile and then turned off. i was left in the dark about pace and distance. but just like the last time this happened, there was again that peace and freedom of simply running for running's sake. what i love about running is the heavy symbolism of escaping from society and all that it holds dear. comfort, warmth, technology, cars, noise, speed, and so much more. it's why i don't like to run with music. it's why i love minimalistic shoes that helps me feel the road. it's why i prefer it to cycling. i know that the garmin goes against this ideology. if there was some way that i could internally measure pace and distance i would never run with it.

i ran through three distinct weather systems. the first was a dense, low hanging fog, dampening the sounds. most of which didn't exist because there was no school today. places that are normally traffic hubs, kids standing, walking, kissing and hugging parents goodbye, stood as ghost towns. the second happened when the fog lifted up to the sky. a bleak ceiling of unending white towered over me. no sun. no distinction between the clouds. the third happened as the clouds suddenly burst bringing a light and steady rain through the rest of the run.

i took a couple of shot blocks with me during the run and ate them at about mile 8. they were great for my energy level but actually really hard to chew. they taste better but those gels go down easier, so i think i'll stick with them while i'm running.

no problems really other than a general weariness that spread over me during the last couple of miles. but even this wasn't overly annoying.

in other news . . . i went in for my consulting appointment for my s.n.s. i asked him about running afterwards. he said that i should be good to do it three to four days after but with less intensity and less distance than typical. i'm thinking i still may take the whole week off for the sake of recovery. but a week seems like a long time. maybe just some really easy stuff?

tried the chocolate milk thing again this morning after my run. and again i felt more alive, more energetic, more myself. this could either be placebo, my body finally accustomed to this new level of training, or the fact that i got seven hours of sleep last night in a row. either way, there are no complaints here.

experimentation

13.2 miles . . .

20 minute warm-up

4 X 200m at 34 seconds with 200m recovery

3 X 1000m at 3:08 with 3 minutes recovery

4 X 200m at 34 seconds with 200m recovery

3+ mile cool down

experimenting with some different foods. before the run i had a piece of toast with almond butter and jelly on it and a half of a banana. seemed like at times i had a heavy feeling in my stomach but none of it came up, so that is good. i think i may try potatoes again. i'm not sure why i went away from them. i keep reading from a variety of resources that chocolate milk is the best recovery drink. my wife went to costco last night and picked up a tub that should last for the next twenty years. tried it after the run. went down fine, tasted great, and i think i feel more energetic than i would typically after a track work out. it'll be interesting to see how it works after a long run.

the day was beautiful. their is a lull in the rain and the sky shines blue. no wind. a little chilly but i can handle it. thin puddles dotted around the inside lane of the track. i especially liked the part where i splashed by a couple who was walking in that first lane, even though the rest of the track was open.

i was really tempted to not do the speed work today. i've just been feeling so weak and tired. mr. box keeps telling me that i need to recover, that all the signs are there. and a piece of me wants to do that. back off the miles. back off the speed. sleep in. relax before my big marathon push. but then i remember that i'm going in for my s.n.s. next thursday and i will have to take nearly a week off. completely off. no running. and lying on the couch in pain and misery, all i will think about is 'when can i run again.' and if i back off this next week, i know that i will regret it. so i will push on.

both sets of 200m felt very similar. hard pushes. hitting my times right on. there isn't much of a trick to them. just throttle it up 100% for 34 seconds. i did feel these deep in my gut. i think that this is from my increase in core workout from sunday.

the 1000m's actually felt really good. each one was faster than the previous. and i ended up hitting an average of 3:07:71. but beyond the times, what i am really excited about is the control that i felt, even on that last one. the pace felt smooth and relaxed but not easy. when i was a little off, i pushed just enough to hit my times again.

the city laid down some fresh mulch for the path around half of the loop at bush park. this makes it much softer, springier, and more cushion-y. which is great for the long distance runner. my only complaint in all of this is only temporary. they do a great job spreading it but they leave the work of leveling it out and pounding it down to the runners and walkers. so for now, there are clumps and bumps. little hills and valleys that force you to watch each step instead of the beautiful surroundings. we are already starting to push it down but only in one spot. this means a lot of stepping off the path as you're passing people. i remember when they did this a couple years ago. they did it in the spring. it was during my bout with my i.t. band.

below the knees

12 miles . . .

another work out cut short because gracie had a doctor's appointment this morning and she woke up later than usual. i'll just have to make it up sometime this week.

i stayed up on my core workouts more these past two weeks, so i upped the repetitions last night and abs feel great today. no soreness.

i got a small glimpse of the beautiful sunrise this morning. i wish i would have been outside running when sky lit up with large bubbles of pinks and reds.

the first mile started out great. the weather was perfect. a little bit cold but no wind and no rain. and i felt powerful, exhilarated. i took a route that starts out with a pretty long hill. usually i'll crest it hovering close to 7's. this morning i was at 6:54 and wasn't even feeling it.

mile two to mile six, the weather stayed the same, but my running did not. gradually pain and soreness overcame me from my knees down to my feet on both legs. calves, shins, feet, everything. throbbing pain with every step.

the first rain drops started coming down on mile six. steadily increasing. the wind followed suit. but it washed away all my pain. i was running free and easy now. the temperature dropped. uphill all the way home. wind increasing. but i didn't care. it was easy now.

the lesson is to just run. run through the pain, the storms, the sun, the ease because you never know when it is going to change. so you just run.

at one point as i was going up a hill, the wind and rain slamming into my face, a man on a bicycle stopped to let me run by. "nice pace!!" with a smile on his face. i acknowledged him with my runner's head nod. "thank you." the whole time thinking "where were you on miles two through six? that's where i really needed some encouragement."

i'm back

the weather did not mirror my running today. a complete downpour for over half of the run. dark, gloomy, just another day like many we have here. but my running was epic. i easily stayed under (quite a bit under at times) of my easy pace. never had to really push at all. nothing was sore, nothing ached. mentally a breeze. i would have loved to tack more miles on at the end but i needed to shower, eat, and get ready to teach this morning, so i kept it at as planned (though with that extra .1 mile because i got lost in the run).

two factors to consider for this sudden change. first, since i taught last night, i was no longer stressed about my message. it was done and sure i had to teach two other times but the anxiety i feel before i deliver a message for the first time vanishes as soon as i teach. second, i rolled out my muscles fairly exhaustively last night with the stick. i found a good method of hitting my hamstrings and found a nasty little bundle of tension on my left one that i worked out to the point of tears.

whatever it is, it's good to be running free, light, and smooth once again. all of these little dips and rises keeps me on edge. right where a runner belongs.

mental toughness, we salute you

8.75 miles . . .

friday morning run. weather outside looked terrible. a storm is coming in. a cold harsh biting wind with slanted rain pushing into me. i was prepared for the worst, thinking that this misery would last for the entire hour of running. but suddenly the sky cleared, the wind died down, and it was a rather pleasant morning. later that day, we went through all four seasons including a nice hailing episode.

it was a very clunky, poundy, ugly run though. took a ton of effort. fortunately it was short. trying to figure out why it was so tough. what has happened? again there are too many factors. including some pain (with a numb left heel??), a large helping of indian food yesterday for lunch, no yoga because i was too tired last night after ministry, and mostly stress. i'm teaching this weekend and i feel unprepared. not sure if it's going to come together or if it's going to be good. i know that i shouldn't worry about these things but i do nonetheless.

17.9 miles . . .

a strange number but it is what i needed to do to hit my total mileage for this week. this was a very tough run. i really don't even know how i finished it. or even how i started it. from the very first step to the very last it was just pure effort and pain. the stress is still piling on for teaching tonight. so many questions . . .

all the way back home from downtown was uphill with a headwind that just kept pushing harder and harder as i got closer to my house. but here is the strange thing. i hit my greatest times here. at the end of the run. when i was most weary. when the wind was the most intense. when the grade was the steepest.

the only other good thing about this run, is that i somehow had enough mental strength left to write an introduction for the sermon tonight and think through some of the major points.

when i got back home i felt really weak, tired, maybe dehydrated, and in desperate need just to lie down and spend a relaxing day resting, sleeping, doing nothing. but that is not in store for this day. it has really just begun.

but if i can do this run, now, under these circumstances of the turmoil without and within, than i can run it anytime. but not only that, if i can run these 17.9 miles like this, i can do anything. i can write this sermon. i can finish it. i can suck it up, find the strength, and make it happen.

here's to toughness.

just be consistent

14 miles . . .
20 minute warm up
6 X 1000m at 3:24 with 1 minute recovery

6 X strides with full recovery

3.6 mile cool down

something didn't quite work out today at all. the warm up was slow, a struggle to work up to pace. the tempo work was sporadic. i couldn't ever get into a groove. i kept wavering between two seconds faster to two seconds slower than pace every 200m. only one (i believe it was the third one?) did i really feel in the zone. it wasn't necessarily overly difficult. i ended up averaging 3:23:94 which is crazy close to my time. but there is a way to hit your pace that feels right. the strides felt sloppy and forced. the cool down, i felt dizzy and light headed at first. after that i started to notice all of my little sore places. primarily my left inner thigh and hip/hip flexor.

but i completed it. that is all i can say. i carried with me the words of someone i met on the track today. she said that she was a willamette alumni but hadn't used the track before. she usually does her speed work at south high school (that would be torture). afraid of the rain that is supposed to start this afternoon and end sometime next year, she went with the morning workout. she has done quite a few marathons and half marathons. she asked if i was a student. most people do when i run there. great thing about ethnic is that you always look young. before we parted ways she said 'just be consistent.' this is the secret to running that everyone knows but few people practice. consistency. stay on it. through the good and the bad, the easy days and the hard days, hold on for dear life, don't ever talk about your training by starting with the words 'i was going to . . . but.'

i need the long term perspective to help me through the next rough mile.

a little less grand

13.35 miles . . .

gracie woke me up later today so i had to cut things a little short. still really cold even though the sun was shinning down. no fog today.

i felt great for the first part of the run. it was those last 3-4 miles or so that i started to feel a bit of a burn. mainly in my hips, gluets, and upper hamstrings. it was uphill at this point. it wasn't super hard but the effortlessness from yesterday didn't carry over.

i made it back home still under pace and feeling great. another beautiful surge of runner's high through breakfast and shower.

just seems like today was a less grand version of yesterday but still enjoyable. like a sequel that didn't quite measure up to the original but still better than howard the duck (in this analogy howard the duck being last week's hard running).

after credo last night, i found that my blood test had been mailed. i opened it up curious to see the ferritin result. my number was 30. a friend at church told me that i should shoot for somewhere around 70. so i'll keep taking those iron pills. maybe get my blood tested in a few months from now. i wonder if i'll notice a difference in my training?

in other health news . . . i scheduled my vasectomy (which from here on out i will refer to my strip 'n snip or with the shortened acronym sns). next thursday is the initial visit. this is where i will ask the doctor the only question i have for him: when can i run again? then a week from that visit is the procedure. it is actually coming at a great time, if there ever is a great time for an sns. i will be done with the elite gold program from mr. daniels. and though i will be starting up the marathon base training, i think that i can afford a week off this early. especially since i have been faithfully building my base through the fall. if i can just relax and trust that this break is good for my muscles, i should be fine. it's hard for me to see how not running could possibly be good for my running, but apparently it is.

a new theory

15 miles . . .

a beautiful sunrise. frost scattered like patchwork where the sun had yet to strike. running down into bush park, rolling hills but constantly down. not even trying and hitting 8 seconds below my target pace. no effort required. around the empty track after a trip to the locker room. a few miles of flat. getting into an easy rhythm. pace is hovering around 6:45-6:46. still easy. laying of the pace a bit. i notice that they sky is no longer clear. a high fog is brushing the tallest trees tickled by the swaying in the wind. i look again and it has stealthily sunk lower. before i even knew what happened i'm surrounded by fog. all colors are muted. vision is very limited, i can't see much in front of me. but it brings clarity to mind. i'm writing sermons. working out problems. struggling through my faith while flying through my workout. the temperature drops. frost forms on my gloves. but i am warm. i can run forever. if i have time i would. i feel so good. only my bowels prevent a 16 mile journey. but everything else is perfect. even the uphill i kept under pace with ease. i'm stopping at a light. i'm not breathing hard. my pulse is barely raised. i'm now at home sitting down. this runner's high is intense. i can feel every particle of air by the tens of thousands enter my lungs.

there is a new theory that i am working up. mr. daniels has me stay at one intensity for four weeks before i shift everything faster. this is the third week of this intensity and i think that's why it is easier. i think that the second week in the cycle is the most difficult. here's what i believe is going on (let me break it down):

week one--i'm ready to go fast. i have been holding my body back. it is comfortable. it is fully acclamated to the new pacing and he just wants to go faster.

week two--the week of death. this is the hard work. this is my body dealing with a new stress, a new intensity. muscles are being broken down. the heart is having to work harder. he doesn't like this. he wants to go back to the slower pace. back when things were easier.

week three--now my body has responded to the new stress and has adapted. it's the beginning of the plateau.

week four--we're ready to go faster. it now takes effort to hold myself back. this is the opposite side of week two. difficult but in a different way. don't be tempted to go with the pace. this week is important for recovery.

i need to read through my blog over the past two months to see if this is really going on. if so, i know what to expect, i'll know what's coming. and even though it will be hard (i suppose running is supposed to be) it will not cascade me into a pit of doubt.

in the meantime. i will enjoy this week three where running is fun, yet furious.

change is good

13 miles . . .

20 minute warm-up

4 X 200m at 34 seconds with 200m recovery

3 X 1000m at 3:08 with 3 minutes recovery

4 X 200m at 34 seconds with 200m recovery

3 mile cool down

too many factors have changed since last week. is it a combination of all of these things or just one change? i slept a ton more this weekend than last. i've now been two weeks at this intensity. i rolled out my calves last night, really hard (they were quite knotty and sore). i've been staying on top of my yoga and core work outs. i experimented with eating more before the run (oatmeal with honey and ground seed, half a banana with almond butter).

but during this morning's run, i wasn't thinking about this. i was just delighting in the run. something i haven't done for over a week. i hit my 6:49 pace during my warm-up early on and it became a struggle not go faster. the cool down was similar except i was even going faster (at one point averaging 6:52's and easy?)

the first set of 200m was easy even though it was an effort. 200m recovery is something i doubt i'll ever get use to. i imagine that is the point.

i admit to fearing the 1000m repeats. these are just hard. all effort. in a word these were consistent. scary consistent. like clockwork. 3:07:79, 3:07:90, 3:07:82. and the strange thing, they didn't feel that fast. it felt like i was just cruising along. maybe like a tempo or something. i think i settled into this mindset too much though. because on the last one my 200m time read 39 seconds (two seconds too slow). at the 400m and the 600m i was still off that much. i kicked it up at that point. i thought, no way am i going to get over 3:08. not today. so i pushed, i surged. unlike last week, the gear was there and carried me home.

the second set of 200m seemed strange. my legs felt rubbery on that first one. and although i hit all of my times, i could have done better if i had focused. i think i was just too excited about the 1000m's.

i kept running by a fleece green hat that someone had thrown in the brush beside the trail. i kept thinking about picking it up, taking it home, and washing it 100 times to get rid of whatever things may have been growing in it. i never did. i wonder if it is still there.

halloweeny

8 miles . . .

today would best be described as a teeter-totter, a giant steep sky reaching see-saw, moving ever up and down, violently bumping from one extreme to the next. at first i thought, this is going to be an easy run. then a minute later everything falls apart in pain, agony, effort, defeat. then it's easy again. hard to find a rhythm, a balance in the midst of this playground mayhem. but i still hit my time. and i suppose that is what is important. as long as i'm not injured or sick, i tread along through my workouts, ever getting stronger, ever getting closer to my goal.

i love fall back. even more so as a runner. i was getting tired of the dark mornings. so much nicer now. the extra hour of sleep was great too.

out of all the things that have frightened me during my runs, some of which i have told here, others which happened before i started this blog (though i will have to share them on a post), this morning was the scariest. i was running along, down a hill in a residential area by my house. i'm just looking around as i often do when i run. taking in the trees, the scenery, breathing in the landscape. i look over at a house. there is a woman standing at the window holding the curtains back gazing out into the street. only there is nothing to look at. no one else is around. nothing is happening. the morning is still early. and there she is just staring, staring at me. like she had been there all night staring into space, just waiting, watching and waiting, until the moment that i should cross her path. standing watch just to stare. not to say anything or do anything but pierce with her blank look, unsmiling face. it's hard to describe what i felt at that moment. even now as i write it, i realize that it doesn't sound scary. but at the time it filled me with a chill and i haven't been able to shake the ghastly image from my mind. last night was halloween. so i considered that maybe it was a cardboard cutout. so a few strides later i turned back and looked again. she was still frozen in time as it were. nothing would move her.

i don't know if i'll run down that street again. if she is there again, looking out, i swear i'll pee my pants. i guess every runner has to do that sometime. i always thought mine would be under different circumstance.