Saturday, November 7, 2009

mental toughness, we salute you

8.75 miles . . .

friday morning run. weather outside looked terrible. a storm is coming in. a cold harsh biting wind with slanted rain pushing into me. i was prepared for the worst, thinking that this misery would last for the entire hour of running. but suddenly the sky cleared, the wind died down, and it was a rather pleasant morning. later that day, we went through all four seasons including a nice hailing episode.

it was a very clunky, poundy, ugly run though. took a ton of effort. fortunately it was short. trying to figure out why it was so tough. what has happened? again there are too many factors. including some pain (with a numb left heel??), a large helping of indian food yesterday for lunch, no yoga because i was too tired last night after ministry, and mostly stress. i'm teaching this weekend and i feel unprepared. not sure if it's going to come together or if it's going to be good. i know that i shouldn't worry about these things but i do nonetheless.

17.9 miles . . .

a strange number but it is what i needed to do to hit my total mileage for this week. this was a very tough run. i really don't even know how i finished it. or even how i started it. from the very first step to the very last it was just pure effort and pain. the stress is still piling on for teaching tonight. so many questions . . .

all the way back home from downtown was uphill with a headwind that just kept pushing harder and harder as i got closer to my house. but here is the strange thing. i hit my greatest times here. at the end of the run. when i was most weary. when the wind was the most intense. when the grade was the steepest.

the only other good thing about this run, is that i somehow had enough mental strength left to write an introduction for the sermon tonight and think through some of the major points.

when i got back home i felt really weak, tired, maybe dehydrated, and in desperate need just to lie down and spend a relaxing day resting, sleeping, doing nothing. but that is not in store for this day. it has really just begun.

but if i can do this run, now, under these circumstances of the turmoil without and within, than i can run it anytime. but not only that, if i can run these 17.9 miles like this, i can do anything. i can write this sermon. i can finish it. i can suck it up, find the strength, and make it happen.

here's to toughness.

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