i'm back

the weather did not mirror my running today. a complete downpour for over half of the run. dark, gloomy, just another day like many we have here. but my running was epic. i easily stayed under (quite a bit under at times) of my easy pace. never had to really push at all. nothing was sore, nothing ached. mentally a breeze. i would have loved to tack more miles on at the end but i needed to shower, eat, and get ready to teach this morning, so i kept it at as planned (though with that extra .1 mile because i got lost in the run).

two factors to consider for this sudden change. first, since i taught last night, i was no longer stressed about my message. it was done and sure i had to teach two other times but the anxiety i feel before i deliver a message for the first time vanishes as soon as i teach. second, i rolled out my muscles fairly exhaustively last night with the stick. i found a good method of hitting my hamstrings and found a nasty little bundle of tension on my left one that i worked out to the point of tears.

whatever it is, it's good to be running free, light, and smooth once again. all of these little dips and rises keeps me on edge. right where a runner belongs.

mental toughness, we salute you

8.75 miles . . .

friday morning run. weather outside looked terrible. a storm is coming in. a cold harsh biting wind with slanted rain pushing into me. i was prepared for the worst, thinking that this misery would last for the entire hour of running. but suddenly the sky cleared, the wind died down, and it was a rather pleasant morning. later that day, we went through all four seasons including a nice hailing episode.

it was a very clunky, poundy, ugly run though. took a ton of effort. fortunately it was short. trying to figure out why it was so tough. what has happened? again there are too many factors. including some pain (with a numb left heel??), a large helping of indian food yesterday for lunch, no yoga because i was too tired last night after ministry, and mostly stress. i'm teaching this weekend and i feel unprepared. not sure if it's going to come together or if it's going to be good. i know that i shouldn't worry about these things but i do nonetheless.

17.9 miles . . .

a strange number but it is what i needed to do to hit my total mileage for this week. this was a very tough run. i really don't even know how i finished it. or even how i started it. from the very first step to the very last it was just pure effort and pain. the stress is still piling on for teaching tonight. so many questions . . .

all the way back home from downtown was uphill with a headwind that just kept pushing harder and harder as i got closer to my house. but here is the strange thing. i hit my greatest times here. at the end of the run. when i was most weary. when the wind was the most intense. when the grade was the steepest.

the only other good thing about this run, is that i somehow had enough mental strength left to write an introduction for the sermon tonight and think through some of the major points.

when i got back home i felt really weak, tired, maybe dehydrated, and in desperate need just to lie down and spend a relaxing day resting, sleeping, doing nothing. but that is not in store for this day. it has really just begun.

but if i can do this run, now, under these circumstances of the turmoil without and within, than i can run it anytime. but not only that, if i can run these 17.9 miles like this, i can do anything. i can write this sermon. i can finish it. i can suck it up, find the strength, and make it happen.

here's to toughness.

just be consistent

14 miles . . .
20 minute warm up
6 X 1000m at 3:24 with 1 minute recovery

6 X strides with full recovery

3.6 mile cool down

something didn't quite work out today at all. the warm up was slow, a struggle to work up to pace. the tempo work was sporadic. i couldn't ever get into a groove. i kept wavering between two seconds faster to two seconds slower than pace every 200m. only one (i believe it was the third one?) did i really feel in the zone. it wasn't necessarily overly difficult. i ended up averaging 3:23:94 which is crazy close to my time. but there is a way to hit your pace that feels right. the strides felt sloppy and forced. the cool down, i felt dizzy and light headed at first. after that i started to notice all of my little sore places. primarily my left inner thigh and hip/hip flexor.

but i completed it. that is all i can say. i carried with me the words of someone i met on the track today. she said that she was a willamette alumni but hadn't used the track before. she usually does her speed work at south high school (that would be torture). afraid of the rain that is supposed to start this afternoon and end sometime next year, she went with the morning workout. she has done quite a few marathons and half marathons. she asked if i was a student. most people do when i run there. great thing about ethnic is that you always look young. before we parted ways she said 'just be consistent.' this is the secret to running that everyone knows but few people practice. consistency. stay on it. through the good and the bad, the easy days and the hard days, hold on for dear life, don't ever talk about your training by starting with the words 'i was going to . . . but.'

i need the long term perspective to help me through the next rough mile.

a little less grand

13.35 miles . . .

gracie woke me up later today so i had to cut things a little short. still really cold even though the sun was shinning down. no fog today.

i felt great for the first part of the run. it was those last 3-4 miles or so that i started to feel a bit of a burn. mainly in my hips, gluets, and upper hamstrings. it was uphill at this point. it wasn't super hard but the effortlessness from yesterday didn't carry over.

i made it back home still under pace and feeling great. another beautiful surge of runner's high through breakfast and shower.

just seems like today was a less grand version of yesterday but still enjoyable. like a sequel that didn't quite measure up to the original but still better than howard the duck (in this analogy howard the duck being last week's hard running).

after credo last night, i found that my blood test had been mailed. i opened it up curious to see the ferritin result. my number was 30. a friend at church told me that i should shoot for somewhere around 70. so i'll keep taking those iron pills. maybe get my blood tested in a few months from now. i wonder if i'll notice a difference in my training?

in other health news . . . i scheduled my vasectomy (which from here on out i will refer to my strip 'n snip or with the shortened acronym sns). next thursday is the initial visit. this is where i will ask the doctor the only question i have for him: when can i run again? then a week from that visit is the procedure. it is actually coming at a great time, if there ever is a great time for an sns. i will be done with the elite gold program from mr. daniels. and though i will be starting up the marathon base training, i think that i can afford a week off this early. especially since i have been faithfully building my base through the fall. if i can just relax and trust that this break is good for my muscles, i should be fine. it's hard for me to see how not running could possibly be good for my running, but apparently it is.

a new theory

15 miles . . .

a beautiful sunrise. frost scattered like patchwork where the sun had yet to strike. running down into bush park, rolling hills but constantly down. not even trying and hitting 8 seconds below my target pace. no effort required. around the empty track after a trip to the locker room. a few miles of flat. getting into an easy rhythm. pace is hovering around 6:45-6:46. still easy. laying of the pace a bit. i notice that they sky is no longer clear. a high fog is brushing the tallest trees tickled by the swaying in the wind. i look again and it has stealthily sunk lower. before i even knew what happened i'm surrounded by fog. all colors are muted. vision is very limited, i can't see much in front of me. but it brings clarity to mind. i'm writing sermons. working out problems. struggling through my faith while flying through my workout. the temperature drops. frost forms on my gloves. but i am warm. i can run forever. if i have time i would. i feel so good. only my bowels prevent a 16 mile journey. but everything else is perfect. even the uphill i kept under pace with ease. i'm stopping at a light. i'm not breathing hard. my pulse is barely raised. i'm now at home sitting down. this runner's high is intense. i can feel every particle of air by the tens of thousands enter my lungs.

there is a new theory that i am working up. mr. daniels has me stay at one intensity for four weeks before i shift everything faster. this is the third week of this intensity and i think that's why it is easier. i think that the second week in the cycle is the most difficult. here's what i believe is going on (let me break it down):

week one--i'm ready to go fast. i have been holding my body back. it is comfortable. it is fully acclamated to the new pacing and he just wants to go faster.

week two--the week of death. this is the hard work. this is my body dealing with a new stress, a new intensity. muscles are being broken down. the heart is having to work harder. he doesn't like this. he wants to go back to the slower pace. back when things were easier.

week three--now my body has responded to the new stress and has adapted. it's the beginning of the plateau.

week four--we're ready to go faster. it now takes effort to hold myself back. this is the opposite side of week two. difficult but in a different way. don't be tempted to go with the pace. this week is important for recovery.

i need to read through my blog over the past two months to see if this is really going on. if so, i know what to expect, i'll know what's coming. and even though it will be hard (i suppose running is supposed to be) it will not cascade me into a pit of doubt.

in the meantime. i will enjoy this week three where running is fun, yet furious.

change is good

13 miles . . .

20 minute warm-up

4 X 200m at 34 seconds with 200m recovery

3 X 1000m at 3:08 with 3 minutes recovery

4 X 200m at 34 seconds with 200m recovery

3 mile cool down

too many factors have changed since last week. is it a combination of all of these things or just one change? i slept a ton more this weekend than last. i've now been two weeks at this intensity. i rolled out my calves last night, really hard (they were quite knotty and sore). i've been staying on top of my yoga and core work outs. i experimented with eating more before the run (oatmeal with honey and ground seed, half a banana with almond butter).

but during this morning's run, i wasn't thinking about this. i was just delighting in the run. something i haven't done for over a week. i hit my 6:49 pace during my warm-up early on and it became a struggle not go faster. the cool down was similar except i was even going faster (at one point averaging 6:52's and easy?)

the first set of 200m was easy even though it was an effort. 200m recovery is something i doubt i'll ever get use to. i imagine that is the point.

i admit to fearing the 1000m repeats. these are just hard. all effort. in a word these were consistent. scary consistent. like clockwork. 3:07:79, 3:07:90, 3:07:82. and the strange thing, they didn't feel that fast. it felt like i was just cruising along. maybe like a tempo or something. i think i settled into this mindset too much though. because on the last one my 200m time read 39 seconds (two seconds too slow). at the 400m and the 600m i was still off that much. i kicked it up at that point. i thought, no way am i going to get over 3:08. not today. so i pushed, i surged. unlike last week, the gear was there and carried me home.

the second set of 200m seemed strange. my legs felt rubbery on that first one. and although i hit all of my times, i could have done better if i had focused. i think i was just too excited about the 1000m's.

i kept running by a fleece green hat that someone had thrown in the brush beside the trail. i kept thinking about picking it up, taking it home, and washing it 100 times to get rid of whatever things may have been growing in it. i never did. i wonder if it is still there.

halloweeny

8 miles . . .

today would best be described as a teeter-totter, a giant steep sky reaching see-saw, moving ever up and down, violently bumping from one extreme to the next. at first i thought, this is going to be an easy run. then a minute later everything falls apart in pain, agony, effort, defeat. then it's easy again. hard to find a rhythm, a balance in the midst of this playground mayhem. but i still hit my time. and i suppose that is what is important. as long as i'm not injured or sick, i tread along through my workouts, ever getting stronger, ever getting closer to my goal.

i love fall back. even more so as a runner. i was getting tired of the dark mornings. so much nicer now. the extra hour of sleep was great too.

out of all the things that have frightened me during my runs, some of which i have told here, others which happened before i started this blog (though i will have to share them on a post), this morning was the scariest. i was running along, down a hill in a residential area by my house. i'm just looking around as i often do when i run. taking in the trees, the scenery, breathing in the landscape. i look over at a house. there is a woman standing at the window holding the curtains back gazing out into the street. only there is nothing to look at. no one else is around. nothing is happening. the morning is still early. and there she is just staring, staring at me. like she had been there all night staring into space, just waiting, watching and waiting, until the moment that i should cross her path. standing watch just to stare. not to say anything or do anything but pierce with her blank look, unsmiling face. it's hard to describe what i felt at that moment. even now as i write it, i realize that it doesn't sound scary. but at the time it filled me with a chill and i haven't been able to shake the ghastly image from my mind. last night was halloween. so i considered that maybe it was a cardboard cutout. so a few strides later i turned back and looked again. she was still frozen in time as it were. nothing would move her.

i don't know if i'll run down that street again. if she is there again, looking out, i swear i'll pee my pants. i guess every runner has to do that sometime. i always thought mine would be under different circumstance.